Mother’s Day is this Sunday, May 13th.
It’s not the natural order of things for a parent to lose a child but it happens way too frequently today…besides, my brother always said that he wanted to go first because he couldn’t bare the thought of losing mom. My mom was my brother’s anchor and she continues to be mine too. I sometimes struggle with putting more faith in mom than I do God. I have panic attacks just thinking about her not being here anymore so I can appreciate my brother’s thoughts on this. My brother died young and unexpectedly on February 5th from the complications of liver disease. He went into the hospital early Saturday morning and passed away on Monday. His death flipped us upside down. We thought he was going to the hospital to get better…little did we know that he was at the end of his earthly road.
My mom is one of the bravest and strongest women that I have ever known. I guess it should have come as no surprise when she wanted to read a letter that she wrote to my brother the day after he died at his celebration of life gathering. With her permission I’m sharing her letter now.
February 6, 2018
“It is hard to believe this 6’ plus man was my baby who came into the world kicking and screaming like you couldn’t wait to get here. A scrawny little boy growing up, who had kept me in school more than you, because you were the class clown (quote on his report card by his teachers) who spent almost as much time in detention as in the classroom. You were very smart but I read more books for you for book reports than I did when I was in school. You would rather be riding up the middle of the street on one wheel of your bike or skateboarding down a hill in Walnut Hill in Petersburg when we lived in Colonial Heights (I found out about this when I saw it in the local paper). You were a free spirit who was seldom where you said you would be. You were self-taught and once you figured out what you wanted to do, you chose eighteen wheeling. I worried about you when you were on the road but you liked being your own boss; something you inherited from your dad and “Grandpop”. I’m so glad I used a bucket list wish and rode with you on one of the hottest days of the summer with no AC in the truck. You never once complained about the Northern Virginia traffic or the heat. I will cherish that day son, one of the few we had. I could go on and write a book about the “Junie” life that I know. One last thing before I say goodbye…do you remember when you would stop by the health department where I worked, usually to hit me up for a loan? All the nurses swooned as if you were the best looking guy on earth at that time. Well son, you have a new body now so please don‘t keep God as busy as you did me, stay out of detention, keep on trucking until we meet on the other side. I love you my son but I have to stay a while longer to keep your sisters straight.”
Your Loving Mom,
P.S. I requested no flowers but asked that donations be made to the hospital and staff that worked so hard to keep you here with us. God had a different plan son, maybe a little more sunshine in heaven.
Unconditional love for sure! And if she had to do it all over again, she would in a heartbeat! It’s called being a mom.